Open Mouth, Change Feet

Lisa "Picker"

"Be sure brain is in gear, before putting mouth in motion." (Author Unknown)


Until just a few minutes ago, I didn't know what I was going to write about today. But things change, and very fast, sometimes.

I was swapping funny stories with a friend this morning and we were having a good laugh at his most embarrassing moment, which happened when he was in the Navy.

He then asked me what my most embarrassing moment was.  (At my age, I have had a few) ... and I remembered this doozy.

This was years ago, when we lived in Indiana, and my three daughters were six, eight, and ten.

We had this little neighbor girl who always came over wanting to play. She was nice and always well-behaved -- and her mother was the head of the PTA at the same elementary school where my youngest daughter went to school.

There was one problem. Lisa always had a runny nose and one of her fingers up there, mining for I don't know what ...

Needless to say, her visits were not looked on favorably by my girls and they had a secret nickname for her ... as in, "Oh no, Mommy, here comes Lisa 'picker'.  Mommeee, please tell her we're not home."

I assured them they didn't have to play all day with Lisa, but they were not going to be rude to her, either. She was a nice little girl, even though she was a bit different. I told them they would be nice to her and reminded them that they might be the only ones who were nice to Lisa all day -- and that was important.

(To be honest, I could hardly blame them, because her visits had become a daily ritual).  I tried to help as best I could while Lisa was there, by putting a box of Kleenex near where they were playing.

Then one evening, I had to go to my youngest daughter's school for a PTA meeting. After the meeting, I was talking with several other mothers at the refreshment table.

Suddenly, greeting me warmly at my elbow, was Lisa's mother, the head of the PTA.  The other mothers were waiting for an introduction, since we obviously knew each other.

I started to introduce her to the others, "Ladies, I would like you to meet Jane...Puh--Puh..." I stopped, horrified.  Oh no!  All I could think of was 'picker!'  Crap, what was her real last name?  My mind was racing, trying hard to remember, but the name was gone.

The blank look on my face must have given me away, because Jane kindly broke the uncomfortable silence by graciously holding out her hand and saying, "Hello, I'm Jane Palmer. I'm so glad to see all of you here."

To protect myself from further embarrassment, the names were changed to share this story ... open mouth, change feet.

“A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write.” ~CJ Heck