Kid Humor at Author School Visits

School Visit in Ohio

I've done my share of school visits since my first book was published in June of 2000.

I was thinking this morning about the funny things children have said, or asked me, during some of those school presentations.

They're just too cute not to share some of them with you ...

"Can I call you Miss CJ?  I don't think my mom would let me say your last name.  It's a bad word, right?"

"My teacher told us we had to guess what C.J. stands for, before you came today -- only she didn't tell us if you were a boy, or a girl, so I guessed it was Carl Jim.  Sorry."

(wildly waving hand in the air, when I asked if anyone had a question at the end of a presentation) "I do, I do!  Where did you buy your boots?"

"Can I come to your house?"

"You write about stuff kids think about.  How old ARE you?   I mean really?"

No, dont!

"I love your poem, Barking Spiders.  My dad will laugh when I tell him about that.  He always tells me to pull his finger and then he farts and laughs, but he says it was an invisible elephant that did it."

"Did your dad really tell you the stuff between your toes is toe jam?  I would never put that on my peanut butter sandwich either ..."

"Do you have a poem about a mom sitting in the toilet 'cause the dad left the seat up?  My mom always does that and then she yells."

"I love your books.  Do you like being rich?"  (ahhhh, the naivete of a child ...I wish)

"I want to write books, too, but my sister says my writing stinks."

"I forgot to bring my paper.  Can you sign my shirt?"

First Lost Tooth

(take a deep breath before trying to say this one ...) "You know your poem about a tooth?  Well, I lost my tooth one day and mom had to write a note to the tooth fairy because I swallowed my tooth and I couldn't put it under my pillow and I didn't think the tooth fairy would come and leave me any money and I cried, but you know what?  She did!  So, I'm not going lose any more teeth 'cause I might swallow those too."

And my favorite ...

"Yeah, I have a question!  (pointing)  See that guy over there, the one in the blue shirt, by my mom?  (proudly)  He's my dad.  That was him laughing when you read the poem about your brother's stinky feet.  That's 'cause mom says his feet smell like he stepped in dog poop."  (oh dear, poor dad ...)


“A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write.” ~CJ Heck