Friday, June 13, 2014

A Lifetime of "Change" ...

Good Manners
I was thinking about change this morning, how there are so many different kinds of change.

We spend our entire lives wishing for, surrounded by, forced to, immersed in, wondering about, and planning on ... change.

Then, when you reach my age, you just wake up one morning and notice you have grown resistant to making changes.  I think there's a certain comfort in keeping things the way you finally have them.

The most significant changes began during our childhood.  Our parents taught us the first ways we needed to change. Most of the change was taught so we would be accepted by others and so we wouldn't appear offensive to society.

Of course, most of those changes came, because we got caught doing something wrong in the first place:
"Chew with your mouth closed." 
"Don't talk with your mouth full." 
"Do not touch/scratch/fondle your private parts in public." 
"Cover your mouth when you burp/sneeze/cough." 
"Do not fart/pass gas/have a barking spider in public." 
"Do not hit your brother/sister/the dog."
"Wipe your feet, before you come in the house." 
"Don't say that word again in this house."
 As a child, it seemed that everyone we knew/didn't know wanted us to change ...


Then as we got a little older, our change came more from within:
We wanted better grades, so we changed our study habits. 
We had a bad hair day, so we asked a friend who did their hair. 
Our friend pushed us down in the playground, so we made a new friend. 
We said a bad word, got our mouth washed out with soap, so we said it in private, or only among our friends.

As adults, change came because we chose to make a change:
This job/boss sucks ... 
My wife/husband cheats/abuses ... 
My nose/belly is too big ... 
My boobs are too small ...   
This car is old ... 
My hair is getting gray ... 
This coffee/pizza/restaurant is awful ... 
I got a speeding ticket ... 
I hate this old wallpaper/paint ... 
I don't like this music/TV station ... 
This house is too big/ too small ... 
I would love to have children ...

And with that one monumental decision -- the choice to have a child -- the cycle of change begins all over again.

I think the changes we resent most are those pointed out by someone we love. It hurts to be told we would be loved, only if we change.

This brings me to a joke I heard years ago, "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?" The answer, "It depends on whether or not the light bulb wants to change."


“A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write.” ~CJ Heck


3 comments:

Patrica Salamone said...

A great post CJ. Every word is so true. I guess it does all start at home. Parents have the hardest job because if a child does not get the right start, love, security and discipline it will effect their life forever.

CJ Heck said...

You're right on, Patricia. Change does start at home and, if it is instilled with love, those changes last an entire lifetime ... thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

Peggi Tustan said...

Hi CJ,
Enjoyed your post. I've learned early "everything changes." I've noticed the the older people who stay the youngest welcome it. :)

AddThis