The Night Before Nuptials: by Rick Turton

The Night Before Nuptials

The Night Before Nuptials

by Rick Turton

‘Twas the night before Nuptials,

And all through the house;

There was cursing and screaming

And fires to douse.

The tuxes were hung

In the closet with care;

In hopes of no wrinkles

And the dog sheds no hair.

The couple was nestled

All snuggled together;

Now, stop that you two!

[There’s time for that later].

The children were debating

This much is true;

Do we really have to do this?

So much left to do.

Should we elope or

Perhaps run away?

There’s much left to do;

For THIS wedding day!

With skinny ‘ol Mama

All dressed to the nines

And pudgy ‘ol Papa

Just waiting to dine.

Away from our TV‘s

We flew like a flash!

We should be getting ready

For our big bash!

When out on the lawn,

There arose such a clatter!

I sprang from my chair;

Lost control of my bladder!

When what to my wondering

Eyes should appear?

But family and friends

From far and from near.

There’s Steve & Mary Ann and

There’s Guido, you see.

Their presence would be missed

On that we agree.

Margo and Hanna,

And oh, look! There is Marty!

Came to join us

At this here massive party!

David, & Carolyn,

Scott & Jason too!

Cousin Margaret and Nathan

They know what to do!

There’s Ray, & there’s Hugh,

Shirley, Mike & Aunt Ellen!

All come to see,

What it is that we’re sellin’!

Veggie plates they’re making,

And dips just for you!

More rapid that eagles,

Their knives how they flew!

They went right to work

This I could not dread

Everything’s getting done…

So I’m off to bed!

The party winds down,

Like logs on the fire

But our only hope, is that your

Love will get brighter.

There are just two more thoughts

I’d like to leave with you.

Two pearls of wisdom,

In sight of this crew.

If you work real hard and

Love one another,

You two can be married

For as long as his Mother!

The next time we visit,

This much will be true:

We’ll be the feared in-laws…

But then ... so will you!

Rick Turton

Rick Turton
Vietnam 1970-1971

Other posts by Rick:

Poetry: by Vietnam Vet Rick Turton






“A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write.” ~CJ Heck

The Chippendales

Today, I decided to post one for the ... er ... the mature ladies of the world.  

I don't know if you've ever gone to see male strippers, but I've been there.  Well, to be honest, it was only one time.  

My friends took me to see them on my 40th birthday, but it truly was wild and sexy and it implanted some really nice memories.

Sexy Mail Stripper

Visiting the Chippendales

by CJ Heck

Back when I turned forty, 

some friends took me 

to see the male strippers. 

I never knew 

there was a place 

you could go 

where there was 

so much action 

without 

ANY

action.

We were small dots 

in a sea of faces, 

distorted by the 

strobing lights 

set to music, 

sexy, seductive, 

and LOUD,

 

but it had to be loud 

to hear it above 

the screaming women ... 

(BOOM ta da BOOM ta da BOOM) 

“Take it OFF! Throw it HERE!” 

(BOOM ta da BOOM ta da BOOM) 

“Shake it, Ooo baby! Take it ALL off!” 

(BOOM ta da BOOM ta da BOOM) 

while a tan, muscled,

sexy young stud

humped and ground 

a well-packed G-string 

in a woman’s face

two 

seats 

down.

I remember thinking,

HO-LY CRAP, 

what if I’m next?

Mama always told me

'look but don’t touch' 

but somehow, 

the not touching 

was SO much easier 

when I was five ...

[From CJ's book, "Anatomy of a Poet"]

Buy at Amazon

"A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write." ~CJ Heck