Children and Rules

Playing Dress Up

I remember one of the hardest things about being a child was learning the rules of growing up.  To a kid, things were always black or white, good or bad, and right or wrong.

The way I learned best was by listening to and minding my parents, yes, but I also I learned by testing the very rules they imposed, and then finding out that there were consequences.  I spent a lot of time thinking about rules in the "naughty chair" ...

From a child's vantage point, grownups had it easy.  They could stay up as late as they wanted.  They didn't have to go to school every day and sit in a classroom.

They could do anything they wanted to do and, most important, they held the key to just about everything in a kid's life, too -- what they should eat and when; what they should wear; where they could go; when to come inside; when to take a bath; when to go to bed; when they should get up; when to pick up toys or clean their room; even what they could watch on TV.

Growing up couldn't come fast enough. I could hardly wait not to have any more rules ...

Rules

by CJ Heck

Parents sure have lots of rules,
things to do and not do.
I’ll be glad when I get big
and growing up is gone through.

I won’t need a dentist
or a barber for my hair,
and I’ll go buy a chocolate cake
that I won’t have to share.

Maybe, I’ll stay up all night,
eat junk and watch TV.
If I want, I’ll sleep all day.
No more rules for me!

“How will you get up for work?
You might get fired”, Mom said.
“You won’t make any money
by sleeping late in bed.”

Why would I need money?
Who needs money anyway?
Rules are bad. When I grow up
I’ll do fun things all day.

"How will you pay your rent?
How will you buy a car?
How would you buy your grownup clothes?
(you’ll be bigger than you are) .

You’ll have to buy the food you eat.
You’ll have to have a phone.
How will you pay your heating bill,
‘cause surely you’ll buy a home?"

I hadn’t thought of all of that.
I can’t do that stuff.
It doesn’t sound like fun at all
and I don’t know enough.

Mom said as I get bigger,
the rules get bigger, too,
but when we start at my age,
growing up is fun to do.

She said, "People grow like houses,
step by step, and brick by brick.
That’s the way we all grow up
and having rules is part of it."

(from the book, "Barking Spiders 2")

Isn't it funny, how we long for the days of childish innocence and gentle rules ...


"A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write." ~CJ Heck

When I Finally Close My Eyes ...

Sunrise/Sunset

When I Finally Close My Eyes

by CJ Heck

When I close my eyes
for the last time,
I want to have lived,
really lived.

I want to know I've tasted
the smorgasbord of life,
having relished the good
and spat the bad back out,
knowing at least I tried it.

When I'm done here,
I won't have to wonder
whether someone caught
the kiss I threw,
I will know.

I don't want to leave this life
with a heart as empty
as my pockets have always been.

I want to know, without a doubt,
I've left something of me behind,
something that's good,
not regret
for never making a difference.

When I close my eyes
for the very last time,
I would like
someone to remember
... I was here.

"A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write." ~CJ Heck

The Role of a Poet

“The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say,
but what we are unable to say.” ~Anais Nin

The Role of a Poet
CJ Heck

To say what others cannot
is truly a mark of greatness.
But have all the noble poems
been written by classical masters
and the gifted poets of today?
Are there meaningful works
still left to pen,
not merely big words
from our swollen egos
spilling their contents
at the whim of a moment,
nor with the simplistic meanderings
of joy, or grief or love?
To answer my own question,
I say write on, dear poets.
Allow not your words
to decay unwritten
in the brilliant minds of today
where they'll lie barren and unread
only to wither and crack and parch
as clay in the desert.
I do believe there are jewels
left to be written.
But if we must write,
it should be for the future,
for the common man
who will gain most from
these words he cannot write.
We have an obligation
to write in a way
that he may glean what he can
from writings of poetic merit,
not stumble through
obscure words which are,
to him, as bird droppings
on a splintered windowsill,
left to die in obscurity
gathering nothing but dust.
If we must write,
let us write for those who are unable,
so the future might find our words
alive and fertile, their tilled soil
begun as thoughts and feelings
first seeded in keen minds,
then sown into black and white,
rich and green and lush,
to live on in future hearts and minds
even as we crumble, ashes to ashes,
and blow away, dust to dust.
May we always write
not to say what we can all say,
but what we are unable to say
-- not just for now, but for forever. 

"A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write." ~CJ Heck

Questions About Writing

I belong to a writers group online, and since I am an author, I was asked by the group moderator if I would help out by answering questions from aspiring writers in the group.

After doing this for a couple of days, I thought there may be others who have a few of the same questions.




Dear CJ,
before you published your first book, did you ever come close to throwing in the towel and giving up? what kept you going?
marc


Marc,
No, I never even considered giving up. If anything, when I got discouraged, I doubled my efforts, because I wanted it so bad I could taste it! I think I mentioned, I gave up a full time job to try and get my book published. I decided if I didn't get a contract by the end of six months, I would go back to work and consider my writing a nice little hobby.

Well, it's a good thing it worked out, because I know now, after having four books published and with another five children's fiction books in the hands of a wonderful illustrator that I found online -- I never in a million years could have pushed the writing aside -- it isn't a hobby. Writing is as much a part of me as my eyes, or my hands are.

Remember, it only takes one "yes" to be published ... be persistent, be dedicated, and believe in yourself and your work.
CJ


CJ
Does it sometimes happen, when you write for children, to get 'carried away' into something that is too complicated and then you have to simplify? In other words, how do you know what a child aged x years old will understand?
marc.


Hi Marc,
As to how, and if, something works, and if it can be understood by children at certain ages, I guess I cheat ... well, actually, I prefer to call it "get a leg up".

When I write something for children, whether it's a poem or a story, I try it out first on one or more of my grandchildren in that age group -- I have nine grandchildren, boys and girls, and ranging in age from two up to fourteen. They're my best (and most painfully honest) critics. When it works, it works. When it doesn't, I get the audible "raspberries" and, after finding out why it was ditzed, I head back to the drawing board to lick my wounds and re-write.

If it passes the first test with my grandchildren, I often take it along on an author school visit. During each of my presentations, I ask the children and teachers if they would like to hear a new story (or poem).

Children know what's funny, what's scary, what will make them cry, or mom and dad angry. Ask your children, grandchildren, go to a library and find a group of little ones. Go to the source ...

Thank you!
CJ

hey cj,
congrats on being a published author. Just a couple of questions. How do you first plan a story? Develop your characters or plot? And how do you create that pefect 'voice' of the narrator?
thankyou for your time :)
Milly


Hi CJ!
I would like to write stories/books for the 12-17 age group. Currently I'm writing a fantasy (I've been writing it for about 7 years now).

My question to you is, I know generally what I want to happen in my story but I can't seem to fill in the blanks! Has this ever happened to you? If so, what did you do to get around it or fix it?
Mer-


Great Questions, Ladies,
Milly, I first plan a story probably like you and everyone else does -- somehow, an idea just comes, and when it does, I run with it. I like to call it "being inspired". I have a strong belief in the universe and everything happening for a reason, and also exactly when it's supposed to happen.

I think we've all had an "inspiration" with our writing; you know, where a story or poem almost writes itself. When the inspiration comes to us, it's all we can think of and the words flow so easily from our hearts to our minds and fingers.

I can give you a couple of my own examples. A few years ago, I was driving to visit my youngest daughter in North Carolina from my home in New Hampshire. On the way, I couldn't stop thinking about some possible children's poems that were banging around in my head, wanting to come out and be written. When I stopped at a traffic light I scribbled ideas and lines in a notebook, or scribbling in a restaurant while I had lunch, even when I stopped to use a public restroom, I scribbled ideas and lines. When I arrived at my daughters sixteen hours later, I had written six poems. I was ... "being inspired". As writers, you probably all know what I'm talking about because you've experienced it.

I've also had it happen the other way, where I couldn't write anything, no matter how hard I tried. I've learned to just let it go, when that happens -- set it aside or put it in a drawer. When the inspiration isn't there, just let it go until you sense and feel the inspiration again. I have one poem about my first husband's military funeral, called "Taps for my Soldier", which took 31 years to write. It was there inside me and wanting to come out, but it was so close to my heart and soul that I couldn't see past the pain of my loss to write about it in more than a line at a time. When enough years had passed, it suddenly flowed when the universe was ready for it. The complete poem now lies in the Arlington National Cemetery as part of the "Taps Project" by invitation.

I guess my answer to you about "filling in the missing blanks" of a story would be, just wait it out. Put the story in a drawer and come back to it at another time. When it's time, the story will finish itself through inspiration. Even characters will write themselves -- they literally will come alive when you write a character and almost tell you what they will say or how they will act in the story.

As to the 'voice' of a story. Try it many ways, Milly. There will be one way that "speaks" to you in a louder voice -- again, that inspiring voice. When I'm writing a story, especially if it has some truth to it (from a personal memory or experience), writing it in first person sometimes feels better, more right, than writing it told from an imaginary character's POV.

I think what I'm saying throughout this whole diatribe is this ... trust in yourself. Trust in being inspired. All things happen exactly when they're supposed to. With the universe, nothing is ever wasted.

Thank you!
CJ


Hi, CJ,
I love all your short stories! What aspect do you think is the most difficult part of getting published?
Meli


Hi Melissa,
Thank you for your warm comments. There's nothing easy about getting published -- or self-publishing, either, but if I had to choose THE most difficult aspect from my point of view, it would have to be the infernal editing you have to do.
As writers, we have a tendency to think every word in a story or poem is necessary to the storyline. Wrong-wrong-wrong. Our readers are smarter than we think. When we can say something in twelve words, why take one hundred?

Edit, edit, edit. Read it again. Edit. Then have someone else read your story. Listen to their comments and edit some more. My partner, Robert, and I help to edit each other's work. I think the one word we overuse the most is "that" (laughing). I think in one short story of 1120 words, we cut 47 that's!

A Quick Example: I think that the most difficult thing that a writer has to think about is the fact that we have to tell a story in shorter words, using meaty sentences that allow our readers to use their imaginations to understand what is being said.

After Editing: I think the most difficult thing for a writer to do is write concisely, giving readers the freedom to feel and imagine.

So, I guess my answer to your question is -- "Editing".

Thank you, Melissa!
CJ


"A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write." ~CJ Heck

Book News!

Big News Today! I hope you will join me in my excitement ...

"Bits and Pieces of a Writer's Soul" and "Me Too! Preschool Poetry" are now in print and available at Amazon.com. 

 If you wish to buy, just click on the links. 

Bits and Pieces at Amazon

Me Too! Preschool Poetry at Amazon

Also now in print, Robert Cosmar's new book:

Trilogy of Awareness at Amazon

Congratulations, Robert!

"A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write." ~CJ Heck

More on Self-Publishing: Robert S. Cosmar

I thought maybe today, I would add a few of my own thoughts on self-publishing. ~Robert S. Cosmar

I think self-publishing is for those who feel that they have something to say and share with the world.

It would be nice to be picked up by a publisher, using their money and resources to produce, advertise, market, and sell your thoughts to the masses, but very few writers have this opportunity presented to them, especially when you get to be my age.

The publishing industry is going through massive changes and publishers are becoming tight with their purses and very frugal when it comes to publishing a book by an unknown.

There is also the ridiculous game of major publishers wanting you to first have an agent to submit your manuscript to them, and then agents who require you to have a contract with a publisher, before they will represent you.  It's a Catch 22, to say the least.

With the growth of eBooks and publishing services that allow anyone to publish a hardback or paperback book, it's only a matter of time before you'll see a decline in the major industry of those who control who and what goes into print and then when it's published.  I suppose this is both good and bad -- and for many reasons.

There is a lot of worthless material being published by those who seek to satisfy an ego urge to stroke their vanity; however, there is also excellent, brilliant material that touches the heart and makes the spirit soar on wings of imagination.

It is the writer who has to decide if what they've written is important, needs to be said, and should be published. It takes a lot of time and effort to learn what it takes to produce a book, or eBook.

In conclusion, there is a joy that comes with sharing your heart's creations and seeing them released to others through self publishing.  It feels like a kiss of satisfaction on the cheek of your heart and soul.

Robert


"A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write." ~CJ Heck

Self-Publishing

I have been published, and I have self-published.  It's been interesting, difficult, grueling, and yet even a little exhilarating.

There are pluses and minuses to either way, but the end result is the same -- you have a book "out there" and, in a [very small] way, you are immortal -- well, at least your words are.  Your words will live on, long after you're gone.

When you have a publisher, a lot of the work is done by them -- formatting, editing, cover design, interior set up, distribution, ISBN numbers, copyrights, advertising, marketing, and in the case of a children's book, they have staff artists who do your book illustrations.

None of this is so, when you self-publish.

When you make the decision to self-publish, you will ultimately have to decide how much of the burden you want to, or can, carry on your own.

There are self-publishing companies online that will gladly sell you  publishing packages, some costing thousands of dollars.

They will do most of the work I'm told, however, you have to ask yourself how long it will take to recoup the money you've spent -- not to mention, your cost per book is about $20.

To make any money -- this is a business, remember -- you would have to set your selling price in excess of $25-35!  Robert and I quickly decided this was not for us.

A further search into self-publishing brought us to P.O.D., which means "print on demand".  There are several of these online, notably Lulu.com and Createspace, which is owned by Amazon.com.

With each, you do most of the work and upload your formatted pdf or ePub book to them for printing, or publishing.  You should also do your homework here -- research, study, check out complaints on the Better Business Bureau's website for each, and then decide which company you will ultimately entrust with the birth of your book.

You have to also decide if you want the P.O.D. publisher to assign an ISBN number to your book -- understand, this technically makes them the publisher -- or whether you will obtain your own ISBN number for your book.  This is daunting, trust me.  There is only one place to get ISBN numbers, Bowker, and they're expensive.

With our first self-published book, Robert and I decided this was the way to go -- we're decided we were doing all the work, so we are the publishers.  Since we each have several books we want to self-publish, we went to Bowker and jointly bought a small block of ISBN numbers. It was far less expensive than buying one ISBN number at a time, which was $125 per ISBN.

Keep in mind, in most cases, you also need to purchase a separate bar code for each ISBN number.  That's for the back of your book.  The bar code carries the price you're charging per book, and has the ISBN number, as well.  Each bar code costs $25.

As you can see, when you self-publish, you've made a concrete decision to BE the publisher of your book.   You take on the whole exhausting process, beginning with  learning everything you have to do to publish a book, and then learning how to do each step.

Believe me when I say, it's a mind-boggling, tedious and frustrating process.  I don't know how many times Robert and I felt we had a handle on something, only to find out we had done it wrong and had to start over.  There are even times when you wonder if your book is even worth all the trouble.

In our case, we felt our books were worth the work of self-publishing, daunting as it was going to be. Deciding who to go with was relatively easy at first glance.  Since we both belonged to AuthorsDen.com, we initially went with a P.O.D. company that AuthorsDen had a working affiliation with:  Lulu.com.

That was a wrong decision and we backed out of Lulu.com almost immediately.  We would not recommend them, but whether you choose to is up to you.

Whoever you ultimately go with, please never, ever assume anything ... trust me.  All I'm going to say is, if you go with Lulu.com, just be sure when you get to the end point -- that of ordering a proof of your book to check whether it's the way you ultimately want it to look -- that you do just that.

You will also be offered the chance to order bulk copies of your book.  Make sure you do not order personal copies at the same time you order your proof and then make the mistake of assuming your proof will be sent first -- it won't.  Enough said.  Lulu.com is not clear on that point, as well as other points, so be very careful.

Robert and I were extremely happy with CreateSpace [Amazon].  They make payments on time and keep excellent records.  You can see at a glance on your Dashboard on their website, how many of your books were sold, your royalty per book, which countries your sales were from and whether they were Kindle or print sales.  They handle all sales and shipping, too, freeing you up for writing even more books.

We liked Createspace so well that we went ahead and allowed them to be the publisher on several more books -- it made things so much more simple for us. We highly recommend CreateSpace.

I wish you success!


"A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write." ~CJ Heck

Ebooks or Books?

Which would you rather read, books or ebooks?  Interesting question, isn't it?.

For the past month, Robert and I have been self-publishing.  It's grueling, re-writing, editing, re-editing, researching P.O.D. (print on demand -- no upfront costs) companies, applying for and buying ISBN numbers (so the P.O.D. company isn't the "publisher" of your work, you are), working with bar codes and learning new programs to create pdf, and modify jpg image files, learning how to correctly paginate, designing and creating back and front covers, yada, yada, yada.

The Dream:  Our Books Published

In Robert's case, he wrote the three stories in his first book nearly twenty years ago, so they first had to be brought into the light and dusted off before doing anything else.

In my case, I worked on the sequel for eleven years.  The preschool book was actually an afterthought, because I felt some of the poems were too young for Barking Spiders 2.

Drawing my own illustrations was also an afterthought, but after making the decision to self-publish, it was something I wanted to do.

Once the books were ready to go, we uploaded them to the P.O.D. company and got in the queue, waiting our turn to have them printed.  In the meantime, we decided to go ahead and publish them in ebook format while we waited ... holy crap ... no one tells you how crazy it is to do that.

Each ebookstore has their own requirements for uploading a book and covers to them -- oh, and each way you publish it, you need a separate ISBN number and bar code, too.  Some require uploading in a pdf format, some, ePub, some in Microsoft Word.doc., and all have different royalties and ways they pay, direct deposit or paypal.

Readers are the Rage

Okay, that brings me back to the original question ... which would you rather read, books or ebooks?

Robert and I were talking about it last night, cuddling on the couch with a cup of decaf.  The ebooks on a PC, Kindle or Nook device are certainly the new rage ... but we both agree, nothing is better than reading a physical book.

I don't know, there's just something special and unique about a book ... the weight of it in your hands, the anticipation of what will happen in the story when you turn the next page, the smell of the paper and the ink, and the most important thing of all ... having a book in your hands creates a feeling, a real and caring relationship with the book, the words, the characters, and even the author ... and no batteries are required.

What's your opinion?


"Writers soon learn that easy to read is hard to write." ~CJ Heck